FMEP; The Ugly Truth!   128 comments

British Columbia’s answer to collecting Court Ordered financial support, known as ‘Family Maintenance Enforcement Program’.

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(Addendum added October 30th 2013)

Given the amount of interest in this FMEP blog, and in consideration of many comments made, I’ve added this addendum.

The FMEP continues to have a highly corrosive influence on many families in B.C.  As I’ve said before, most people Ordered to make payments to their alienated spouses are simply non-violent, non-criminals,   although none of us can claim to be truly ‘innocent victims’.  Yet, forcing divorced mates by extraordinary Government authorized methods to continue supporting ex-spouses, (not their children), largely fosters dysfunction and animosity.

The best advise I can offer to all those who wish to avoid this abusive agency is this;

1.  Whatever it takes, humbly and unselfishly work out your financial issues with your spouse if at all possible ‘before’ this government bureaucracy gets involved.

2.  If you’re already under the FMEP cloud, understand that the only way to find relief is to honestly convince a judge (be it in Provincial or Supreme Court) that a change (called ‘variation’) to your Order is justified.

You will not have any success trying to convince FMEP agents, or its ‘Director’, those people simply have no jurisdiction or authority to adjust Court Orders.  You must go to the respective Court and if you are not being represented by a lawyer, you can definitely do it on your own, provided you’re determined to make the effort.  The good news is that the FMEP will not provide lawyers to block or defend against your application, so its strictly up to you and your spouse in Court.  Of course either one may chose to be represented by a lawyer, that is up to each of you.  If you are on your own, here’s a couple of tips;

a)  Prepare all personal financial information and present it according to appropriate ‘Court Rules’, these are available online and you can also obtain personal help at the Vancouver Court House.  You will get nowhere unless the judge is convinced you are being upfront with all financial information.

b)  Do not try to impress a judge through self-pity or emotion, it simply will not wash, and may even work against you.  You must provide proof of all personal financial matters, taxes, income, assests etc., in full, yours – and as much as possible your spouses, although they will have to do likewise – that’s what counts to a judge.   (In one sense they are more like Auditors going over the books imho.)

It took many applications for me to learn most of these things, and it did ‘eventually’ bring relief, so it can work for you also, but you will have to be determined, open, and honest.  If you chose this path my very best wishes to you.

(end of addendum)

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Ostensibly under the Attorney General’s Ministry, (and we can all feel secure about that right?). This is a government authorized ‘collection agency’ which, IMHO is contributing to the breakdown of society.

More than a little authority is exercised by employees of this agency, called ‘Enforcement Officers’. These government employees operate in secrecy from an undisclosed location for good reason. Even telephone calls are carefully monitored and restricted, callers being required to use a code before talking to EO’s.

FMEP collection officers are authorized by the government to literally wreak havoc on ‘payors’, in fact they very substantially affect and influence the lives of many, and bear in mind that those people are simply non-criminal, B.C. citizens!

FMEP legislated authority comes from the ‘Family Maintenance Enforcement Act’ (FMEA), established for the expressed purpose of enforcing support payments ordered by the Courts.

Those court decisions are supposedly made for the benefit of disadvantaged parties to a divorce, usually wives and children. Sounds high-minded doesn’t it?

But that legal process and court decisions often have a major detrimental impact on the lives of divorced mates and parents, usually husbands and fathers. Regardless of that fact, ‘payors’ are just ‘collateral damage’ to Enforcement Officers.

Whenever a government assumes the role of ‘enforcer’ of its citizens, red flags should be flying. There are inherent and significant dangers for society in this kind of legislation. At the very least, healthy public oversight should prevail from beginning to end.

The FMEP enforcement powers include everything from serious invasions of privacy, to cleaning out personal bank accounts, imposition of liens on homes, cars, and any other material assets. Then there’s the punitive crippling of credit ratings, prevention of drivers license renewals and passports, to name just a few of the destructive ‘tools’ available to them!

Even CPP, Old Age Pensions, and UI, can be garnisheed by FMEP agents (ask me how I know!).

How did this arbitrary and abusive enforcement authority get started? Think about it; “Do governments ever prioritize the public interest over ‘their own’ best interests?!”

If divorcees weren’t forced to pay support to unemployed former spouses, it would fall to the government to provide some form of relief. That helps explain the motive for law-makers passing this legislation. They have a big stake in forcing non-criminal citizens to pay support since that relieves the government from taking any social, safety-net responsibility.

Ironically, in recent years moral judgments have been disregarded in favor of a secular approach under the Canada Divorce Act. Unfaithful spouses are not judged on the basis of morality, and both divorced parties are simply instructed to realistically ‘become self-supporting as soon as possible following divorce’.

So from this Federal point of view, the marriage is viewed much as any other commercial ‘contract’.

Here’s a link to Federal Spousal Support Rules:

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/spousal-epoux/ss-pae.html

Yet, in spite of the Divorce Act’s secular approach, Provincial court decisions continue to impose financial responsibility on payors as if they are the ‘moral judge’ of the parties, the very opposite of how they must deal with contract disputes.

The effect of those ‘moral’ decisions go far beyond contractual obligations. They deeply affect the lives of divorced parties, especially payors, to their detriment. I believe this is also detrimental for society as a whole.

There is no argument that its necessary to fairly divide a family’s material things ‘at the time of divorce’, especially for the good of any underage children involved.

However, imposing the burden of long-term financial support for the sole benefit of a former spouse with no handicaps, or children to care for, is clearly wrong!

Support for divorced wives may have been necessary a century ago, but that historic method is out of date. Women have equal employment opportunities (sometimes more and sometimes less), and the Federally legislated obligation to become self-supporting.

Forcing a former spouse to pay support inevitably fosters animosity, besides providing an actual incentive for self-seeking wives to initiate divorce in the first place.

To restate; Provincial Court support orders fly in the face of the Federal Divorce Act which treats the failed marriage as a broken contract, which it arguably is.

Imposing an ongoing burden of debt on former husbands contributes to divorce actions and has a debilitating effect on society as a whole. Its divisive, contentious, and in many cases, grossly unfair as countless men will testify.

This is the ugly truth, made more so by the excessive collection powers granted to a handful of government bureaucrats.

Adding insult to injury once those support orders are made it becomes a debilitating drain on payors to mount a court challenge in order to try to change their support order. Courts are very reluctant to make changes to orders issued by their peers, regardless of difficulties and changes in the lives of the men burdened by them.

Courts regard most changes as merely the ‘choice’ of the payor, irrelevant to the ordered support payments. Genuine free choice is therefore no longer possible for payors. Is that not an abuse of human rights and freedoms?

Is it even remotely possible for imperfect Judges to stipulate a completely fair and balanced support order? An ongoing ball and chain effect that will not have a major impact on payors for five, ten, or even twenty years in the future..? Hardly!

So stressed by court imposed support orders, distraught payors have sometimes even committed suicide. (And that’s not even mentioning the trauma of child custody issues.)

No, I certainly don’t have all the answers to these difficult divorce issues, but the present methods of placing the burden of support on husbands is clearly not the answer and should not be left up to the courts.

Unfortunately, most people are unaware of the quasi-police powers which have been given to the FMEP bureaucracy by the government. Why doesn’t this agency have public oversight?

They can, and do, abuse innocent citizens with little disregard for the charter of rights and freedoms.

In fact its very questionable if the Family Maintenance Act would be able to withstand a Supreme Court of Canada legal challenge.

The FMEP is not even accountable to a provincial ombudsmen! They can and do blithely enforce flawed court decisions with impunity. The have been given powers well beyond those allowed for mere debt-collectors. This is blind-folded justice and frankly; it stinks!

There are few benefits to society from granting such authority to mere public employees.

Its not working well, and never will work well. I rest my case.

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Supplemental added July 26, 2010;

Here’s an example of FMEP policy…

Question: “How would it be known if the recipient is deceased, i.e. someone wrongly receiving their payments, forwarded by the FMEP collection agency?’

FMEP answer: “It would be up to someone to notify us if the recipient has passed away. We do not check on a regular basis.”

In other words FMEP is unconcerned if the money collected from Payor’s is even getting to their clients. How hypocritical is that!?

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Supplemental added June 21, 2012.

The animosity of divorced marriage mates truly validates the premise:  ‘there is only a thin line between love and hate’.

In my own personal experience, even after a divorce that took place 15 years ago, no less,  an emotional barrier to peaceful relations continues.

Fueled as is usual by narrow-minded financial focus, there is ongoing animosity. No doubt if a former marriage mate had the ability to extend generous financial support to the other this animosity could be alleviated. In some circles this is known as ‘bribery’.  In any case it is rarely possible, and in my case also impossible.

As a result, there is only an ongoing shameful attitude of a former spouse who precludes any semblance of peaceful relations simply because of the lack of continued financial support, support that was afforded her during 30 years of marriage, much less any semblance of gracious gratitude for all those years of support.

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UPDATE MARCH 3, 2013;

This is an exchange between me, (a Payor of 15+ years) and FMEP;

My Question:

“…after reviewing the FMEA I understand that
$3000 is the critical number!  So….I ask why have enforcement actions been applied when my outstanding
maintenance was less than than $3000 !?” (note: in fact I have been in full compliance with a Supreme Court Order for literally years, as FMEP very well knows!)

answer from FMEP:

“We are not required to remove enforcement actions until the file is paid in full. No new enforcement actions have been issued for some time. All active enforcement was issued when the arrears met the threshold for such enforcement.”

My reply:

“So what you are saying in fact is: ‘We continue to act arbitrarily, in an agregious, basically unethical manor, but somehow expect to get good results from a payor.’  Doesn’t that pretty well sum up FMEP conduct?  We often hear of 3rd world countries… (abusing their law-abiding citizens),… but it is certainly no less true right here in B.C.”

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128 responses to “FMEP; The Ugly Truth!

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  1. so what has become of the review? when will it happen? It is without a doubt the most NAZI system operating in North America. Tell me HOW it satisfies the Charter of Rights by providing “equal benefit and protection” under the law?

    Please keep me posted.

  2. I have started a claim with the BC Ombudsman…if anyone would like to help out feel free to contact me and join in.

    • Hi, I would like to know if you did file claim with BC Ombudsman and what was the outcome of it? I would like to join any form of fight against FMEP

      • Sorry to say the ombudsman has no authority over FMEP. This is just a total disgrace for the B.C. legislature and Canadian human rights.

      • Sadly yes…the Ombudsman approach is fruitless as…guess who they report to? The Attorney General! Just a pile of crap.

  3. I’m very sympthetic to your situation Mike. Nevertheless it is a fact of life we all have to suck it up no matter how difficult our circumstances and make the most of it day to day. That said, I ‘guarantee’ there will be a just and righteous accounting by God in his good time. Exercising ‘true faith’ in that scriptural truth brings peace of mind, and contentment, even under these very trying times.

  4. Mike: please go to this link and take it to heart… http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/

  5. Check out “anti maintenance enforcement program” on facebook. A bunch of us try and support each other and are getting ready for some real action.

    Please remember. This is a program written by lawyers for lawyers. Lawyers love it and are a big reaason for society’s degradation. This is no exception.

  6. this bites ,i have had custody of my child for 9 months and they froze my bank account , i cant pay bills or insurance i figure we will be homeless in 20 days ,is there anyway out.

  7. even this site is monitored , i am screwed no way out for me and my daughter they will take everything

    • I believe your right, the gov’t does monitor this site Shane, and we can hope it might reach the hearts and minds of someone in authority – beyond their desire for fame and fortune that is. In any case try to have faith that ‘all’ injustices, including so many beyond our own, are being taken into account by the ‘highest authority’ in the universe, and that He will apply appropriate judicial action in His good time. For us its a matter of patience, fortitude, and humilty until that day arrives.

      • FMEP is not government. It is a for profit company called Maxis inc! I was stunned. Governments are too weak to do this so sell it to someone with teeth. Someone who takes no bs and just goes after what is now THEIR money. If you get involved with this program then financial ruin is your destiny.
        They, by gvt order I am sure, send out a letter that includes the line- if this will cause you hardship please list your expenses. I am broke and unemployed. I told them I would be homeless in 2 months.
        Their reply- We determined that the notice is correct and will be enforced. They know best but I will still be homeless july 1st.
        Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

      • I’m glad you guys speak-up! …in similar my assets has been frozen for over 7/yrs. Too many long years story to tell… if the Law stands for being rights. I wonder why there is a conflicts. I just hope 1 day all the devils, is going to melt away. In addition, please read; Mathews 5:44 Love your enemies, bliss them that course you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecuted you. Here is more for you, read; Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your GOD; I will strengthen you, I will uphold you, with the right hand of my righteousness.

        You are not alone… there is many of us!
        Nanette

  8. it will be to late by then ,waiting is not an answer!

  9. Mike; can you fill me in on how they managed to freeze your parent’s bank account. I thought they could only go after the “payor” to the payor’s family or girlfriend?

  10. Wow… I feel for you Mike.

    I’m in a similar travel scenario with the ferries.

    I have just recently started a payment arrangement, and since doing the arrangement they have revoked my passport, drivers license, ability to apply for credit, etc.

    I am a general contractor and my vehicle is how I make my income. Taking my dl will cripple that and I won’t be able to see my son. They say all this is to help your kids… But it works against it..

  11. Divorce can be a tumultuous time and if not managed properly, can be one of the most financially devastating life events. The process can be emotional and intense and the financial decisions you make during this time might be some of the most important economic decisions of your life. It is imperative to understand your complete financial situation. Knowledge and preparation will be crucial to your creating a sound financial agreement.

    <,http://www.caramoan.co/

  12. FMEP – been dealing with AB and BC. Have been denied access. Was ordered to pay money even though I was ordered by the doctor not to work. Have been unable to adjust even the amount as they refuse to base it on my income tax. Recently my son was adopted (I had no say in the matter was unable to afford a lawyer and they just pushed it through court). I am still being charged. My licence has been suspended although I work as a driver. they claim I owe !5,000 in arrears and until payments of %50 of my income are being paid they will continue with the licence suspension. I cannot afford the $5000 lawyer retainer fee. I will be homeless again very soon unless some action is taken. I am however, at a loss as to what to do. I should not have to pay money for a child I was denied access too, based on income I never made, who was finally adopted and I am still paying support. Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated because I’m at a loss.

    • Couple of learnings here for everyone. 1) You will NEVER get away from having to pay for your child…and nor should you. You brought a child into the world, dummy up for them. Should you be taken for every penny, absolutely not and for that you need to go to court. If you can show the judge that you are trying to do your best given your circumstances, show some effort etc etc they (the judge) will side with you. I’m living proof. The comment “I shouldn’t have to pay for a child I have no access to ” will put you in any judges doghouse.

      2) As for the FMEP assholes, I pushed them til the point that I didn’t want it going any further. They are the ball sweat of humanity but can ruin your life. Now I can control my destiny with this and it’s quite fine as all they do is monitor the payments. I’ve worked my way back from almost 5 figure arrears (done on purpose as my ex stole $20k from me) and it was my only way to strike back.

      If anyone needs help drop me a line here….keep in mind I will NOT help you avoid your responsibilities and things like “I don’t want to pay” will not fly with me. I’ve done my own court papers for the last three years and am pretty versed with how to save a buck on lawyers fees.

      • We are in a situation that the mother (ex wife) has a small claims payment order against her, she implied that her child was stupid so that she can keep him with FMEP so she can collect monthly maintenance to pay her debt. This child has been 19 for 4 months now, and FMEP is still enforcing payment because she tells him he has a job and has a disability that he can not work, How can a mother feel good about herself as she abuses her child only to exploit him for a small claims payment order? and FMEP does not care, about the mental well being of people???? RRSPs have been cashed in for a lawyer, though a lawyer should not be required, only to stop the abusive manipulation and bullying actions of this monsterous exwife. Any suggestions on how put a stop to this behaviour of this woman so that everybody involved is allowed to move on in life???

      • FMEP is just the dummy crew sent to do the job the court sets out…if it says “pay” they will enforce that. Ya gotta go back to court and get the order changed. Plain and simple.

      • Al I can not agree with your comments toward the gentleman who has no access to his child, has been not only denied access, but had his child adopted by another party. now in canada here if someone adopts your child you are no longer their parent, you have no parental rights and therefore should not have any parental responsibilities. i too believe that we are all responsible for our children, i have five of my own. this person is not denying his responsibility, who the hell adopted his child without his say? that my friend is a travesty of justice, and to be asked to pay for a child which has been adopted by another person, removed you from your rightful place and then expects to collect child support… come now, that does not make any sense. that would mean that anyone who adopts a child should be able to sue the mother who is adopting it out for support. it is the same thing. once you have given up your parental rights, which is very difficult to do in canada, they do not want you to deny your own children, so they need a really good reason to allow you to give your parental obligations over to another. i don’t want to pay doesn’t cut it. who ever adopted that child is the payor now, and the man who lost his child without his permission is being completely ripped off. he is no dead beat i am sure, he has had his child stolen from him and you want to lecture about his responsibilities as though he is trying to get out of them…. it sounds as though the system took his child away, gave it legally to another, removed his parental rights, but still wants the cash. now that does not sound right somehow to my ears, not right at all.

      • Al, i’m interested in learning more about how yo pushed FMEP to the point that I didn’t want it going any further. I have an ongoing battle with them whilst fighting for my ex who engaged in an parental alienation campaign

  13. Sorry, that’s maximus inc.

    • Must confess I don’t know what your referring to here Allan. Can you elaborate on this?

      • Allan may be referring to the fact that here in BC, the government has sold/re-authorized the responsibilities of this portion of the department of justice, to a company called Maximus Inc./ subcontracted, as I beieve to a name you may find as Themis. A maximus/Themis search would completely answer all your questions, I am sure

        It is basically a horribly economically damaging situation to individuals affaected, but has a lasting and measurable impact upon our societys economic prosperity. More damage needs to be done, unfortunately, before it will be remedied.

      • I fail to see the rationale in taking away someone’s drivers licence so they can’t work, can go back to court to lower payments in which case the kids lose. If government(s) cannot see the horrendous ill logic in this then perhaps it’s time to move to another country.

        Horrendous illogic is a hallmark of this negative enforcement program.

      • http://www.maximuscanada.ca/

        From wikipedia-

        Maximus Inc., trademarked as MAXIMUS, is an American for-profit privatizing company that provides business process services to government health and human services agencies in the United States, Australia, Canada, Saudi Arabia, and the United Kingdom. MAXIMUS focuses on administering government-sponsored programs, such as Medicaid, the Children’’s Health Insurance Program, health care reform, welfare-to-work, Medicare, child support enforcement, and other government programs. The company is based in Reston, Virginia, has 8,657 employees, and reported annual revenue of $1.05 billion in fiscal year 2012.[2]

        This is who we are dealing with. This is why they easily say no to any concession. Go back to court.

        They also have your medical records.
        Government outsourcing

  14. SArah Hull, Keith Grout, Wendy Rose and such are brain dead losers using the power given to them without a brain cell worth of thought. It’s a completely destructive system that needs overhauling yet somehow, everyone is scared shitless.

  15. I am in vancouver undergoing cancer treatment for a cancer that is very likely going to kill me, but not quickly.

    When FMEP was contacted to tell them I have no income at all and that all I want is that the monthly penalty, and quarterly penalty, be suspended until I at least find out if my cancer is curable was like asking for the moon. I was told that the only person that has the power to stop enforcement penalties was the other party (my ex) and that it was not their policy to get involved in personal situations.

    I do not have the money (lawyers fees) or the health (I live in a cancer center or the hospital) to go to court to ask that my monthly amount be reduced. I have asked what they suggest, and they tell me to consult a lawyer and ask the lawyer to ask a judge to reduce the monthly amounts. Again I tell them I dont have a lawyer because of cost. I get “thats not our problem”. IF, and thats a big if, I could get a lawyer to represent me for free, it will take months to even see a judge to set a date, let alone get it seen in court and resolved one way or another.

    Also, my arrears are less than $3000.

    Anyone have any suggestions for a guy with no money, cancer, and FMEP chomping on my ass?

    Thanks…

  16. This is truely sad to read all these comments,, I thought I was the only one. In dealing with FMEP since May 1st 1997 over 2 marriage breakdowns I can’t believe this is getting worse not better. I have never supported deadbeat parents male or female,, you bring children into the world you support them end of story! I am in favour of a system that protects our children but this one is not working.
    If this system is for the best for my children it clearly doesn’t work. What my children have seen is one extremely stressed father. And yes my children live with me.
    I have been told through my years by lawyers to spoil my children to keep them… which I will not do. I have also been told by judges that the system is not gender friendly and at times will fail the children.
    I believe that the powers FMEP have, goes beyond the Supreme Court of Canada as they have demonstrated that. In the last year they have put a lien on my house MONTHS before monies were to be payed as the court order spiecifed. They have taken my tax return going against another Supreme Court Order. When is enough,, ENOUGH

  17. Mike, firstly for you I am very sorry for your situation. We have been there and done it with you. And do not give up, because I doubt you will ever rest, and nor will we, in the face of Justice run amuck, It is not possible when you wake up every night reliving it and making notes to defend yourself against FMEP. It has been 29 years of hell and we are a responsible payor family, sisters of the payor and the payor. I wrote about three pages of the grief and details here and have just deleted because I do not like being monitored. Plus three pages is not enough to detail the travesty of justice nor the pain nor the destruction of physical health. I have seen it all and I know what FMEP is. i am just the sister (there are three sisters and without our bank accounts my brother would be dead in the water after what FMEP has done to him, over and over and every one of the enforcement actions they have taken.with No apology to anyone after the many illegal actions they took which he fought and were reversed with huge over and over effort, and only some reversed AFTER irreversible business damage done. Not to mention his heart attack and on going other life threatening issues- all from stress.They did not miss anything in their path of destruction, for their ill founded pay cheques for in house lawyers and enforcement officers etc., and all suffered by the rest of we taxpayers and suffered under the facade of doing a public service. Their annual reports are a lie. Every cent you voluntarily give and would have given without them (FMEP) to support the children you love is used by them to support their existence and refllected in their annual reports saying in other words look how much money we .took in to support the poor neglected children who would otherwise be on welfare because of deadbeat payors, who are most frequently males, (And make no mistake most chidren get the message directly or inadvertantly from the recipient that thier father (in most cases) does not really love them, is a bad guy who needs the FMEP POLICE to put food on their table. and the children know thier father will go to jail if he has a down spell in his business and cannot pay for a few months and will make up later. This does not happen in “normal” or what you might call “ordinary” not divorced married and common law couples. In these cases if the income is less for a few months or the furnace and hot water tank blows causing extra income expenses, the family pulls together, tightens their belts until the storm is over and everyone, particularily the children learn that there are unforeseen circumstances in life. [ In separated families we would not tell Dad he has to go without heat or hot water or worse and order that he get a second job or we will send him to JAIL, plus he could have NO access with No Heat and hot water] times less apparent but seething under the surface of their life judgements and treatment of people.. Hence Dad is a bad guy because he has no heat and hot water, and often worseL) It is a learning experierice that most of us have had, and one that serves children well in the future. It is a normal part of life and coping skills. All this is lost for children of FMEP who learn to “Hate.”) .
    This is what they (FMEP) sell, and this is what we all pay for as taxpayers and for what?? – basically the destruction of, usually the father and the destruction of the children who learn tto hate and believe things that are not true, and that is the nasty truth of what they bring to society in many cases, as adults – some less apparent where the seething hate is under the surface- but active. I have seen all scenarios and it is not pretty..
    Welcome to the FMEP profit mongering “Reign of Terror.”
    Waiting for a higher power to fix this and being patient, as one of the persons commenting stated is to live in Disneyland. (with all due respect, not meaning to be rude, because we are all in this together and you took the time to respond, but the solution is not going to fall out of the sky, it takes enormous and collaboarative “people” power.)
    This a huge issue and destructive issue to the entire social/family fabric of Canada. It is not just B.C.

    And then there is Themis/Maximus all raking in a living off of primarily voluntary support..

    And I have not said anywhere near what I could elaborate on. It would take a novel. I am famaliar with the same absurd responses other commentors have received from FMEP.

    I am not a payor, just collateral damage. When something is unjust we all pay..

    Cherry Meadley
  18. FMEP has told me straight up. We will make you forclose on your home.(worth a 105k) I was sick for some time with serious heart issues and could not work. I even tried for a while on a few occations. My Halter tests showed my heart beat as low as 33 bpm even after medication improved it! FMEP made a credit report so I cannot get a loan on my equity, and said in no uncertain terms that they would not take it off so I can get a loan to pay them off. I have offered a payment plan that sees me paying the full arrears of 6000$ in one year that is fullly doable now that my heart is stable. But no! they want my home taken away. I am in no way exagerating these facts whatsoever. They put a stop on my licence and took what paltry savings I had in my acccount and left not one dime. Not a penny!
    My ex wife goes on trips to Whistler, Van Island, Harrison Hot Springs and rents jet boats and makes 60k per with top benifits. FMEP is willingly being used to further her parental alienation and she could care less about the money. I had a grade ten education when we separated and have gone through some serious issues due to feeling overwhelmed at the constant pounding by my ex and FMEP. I was advised to keep my depression to myself and not tell anyone for it being used against me.I have accepted to some degree that I may have to start from scratch at 45 years of age and not see my children as often as I rebuild my life. I have to accept it for my sanity and health even if it is unjust. I am just sad for my sons to have to watch their dad stumble around like a broken bafoon in this new world.

    • It may not be much comfort at this moment dude, but the truth of the matter is ‘you are not alone!’ What’s more some of us are now at, or near, light at the end of the tunnel, so that will happen for you too! All you can really do is man-up and hang in, time is great healer, but never fail to show love for your kids regardless of everything else in your life because in that sense there really is ‘more happiness in giving than receiving’. And if you do that, in the end you will be the winner and your ex will be the real loser.

      • I just Cant take It!
        The way its so easy for the x to play the money against the dad With Gifts and Alienation.
        Mine did it, and it worked for her to get full custody,From 50/50 shared custody
        and no doubt the lawyer. Suggested to her, to do it when the kids got old enough to decide where they want to live,,,

        Now there with her and Fmep is on the payroll telling me to pay for a 19 year old
        that plans to go to school in 6 months while he takes a Holiday driving the car she bought and the dirt bike and atvs and her truck.

        so now i watch them grow to be like her … Selfish an no time for me
        unless they want something.

        and its time for another Custody Issue to fight for my rights with fmep

        I can’t wait for karma to kick In…

    • Please contact us and let us work on telling your story.

  19. It’s liberating to know I’m not alone. I’ve been battling my ex-wife for 7 years. Lost my job due to her efforts, not dissimilar to the heartbreaking story above. I moved provinces to start fresh. Lost my home in the process due to MEP Alberta. My new spouse was harassed by both MEP Alberta, and the new MEP programme in my new province. Try to get a variance when you have no income? And no one will hire you because of garnishment and credit issues because of MEP? And you don’t have a licence? And you lose your passport? And yet, I’m accused of being purposefully “under-employed.”
    My spouse makes 50k a year. She received a substantial settlement in the divorce and she owns her own home. My children don’t want to see me.
    I managed to find a good-hearted lawyer who helped me pro-bono, and was able to at least get my passport back, when the MEP programme was threatening to throw me in jail for non-payment. Try navigating the inter-jurisdictional part of the family law system. It has taken a year since the decision in my home province in order for it to be heard in Alberta. An entire year. And yet, MEP and the courts in my province expect me to update them on the status of my ISO variance request, and if I don’t, I can be sanctioned? Apparently MEP programs don’t communicate with each other unless it’s punishment related.
    And what does the Alberta judge do? disputes the decision on the arrears, doesn’t assign a number (which my provincial judge did), and says the MEP programme in Alberta will figure out the numbers for the court?? Fox guarding the hen house?
    If it wasn’t for my spouse, and my immediate family, I don’t know if I would have the strength to continue on.
    This is system is completely broken. This is state-sanctioned abuse of its citizens. The powers held by MEP across this country are counter to the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The fact the politicians and the courts willingly allow this to occur shows how far we have gone astray in this formerly great country.
    Maybe it’s time for “first rule of Abused by MEP Club is don’t talk about Abused by MEP Club….”

    • Have you tried the Canadian or Alberta Human Rights Tribunal? They are a watch dog group that goes into attack mode on issues and circumstances very much like this. When a quasi-government group is allowed to act outside the Charter of Rights it seems like something they might be interested in.

      • Get on the Facebook group and let’s organize en masse and go after these bastards. If there are enough of us working together we can make changes to improve our situations. Some folks are contacting the Fifth Estate etc.

  20. I’m going through the hell,I’ve spent years paying and now they want to give my ex more money, my kid is 19 and laying on the couch, fmep wants to force me to pay, I think we men need to group and make a stand

    • Doug….Take her back to court and demand she prove that your kid is going to school. You will then get reprieve from it. FMEP is a pile of useless morons with power and they will only do what’s in front of them…believe me I’ve gone thru your exact hell. It’s fixable.

    • Some judges are just as bad, Monday he kept 19 year old on, and put 22 year old commonlaw mother of one back on. because the mother can do it and get away with it, I don’t know if anybody is interested, or if its the right thing to do, but I am so fed up with this abuser(his ex wife) I am gathering names and addresses of government papers and news reporters and going to the media with the issue, things really need to be changed. I don’t know if anybody is interested, but I cant stay quiet and let the abuse continue.

  21. Our site aims to explore the truth about the Maintenance Enforcement Programs in BC, Alberta and elsewhere with video, interviews, dialog and facts about the programs overall ineffectiveness and the negative impact on many families.

    This site was inspired by the National Film Board of Canada’s GDP Project (http://gdp.nfb.ca/intro), the many individuals and families who reached out and told me their stories and the Anti-Maintenance Enforcement Program Facebook Group.

  22. Obviously you’ve never had to deal with an ex spouse trying to manipulate you and control your ability to provide a healthy life for your kids by not paying their child support. You can have ‘father’s rights’ or you can bail on your responsibilites to your kids. You can’t have both. Why should my ex be able to tell me where I can live and when I have to provide him access to the children I work to provide for if He isn’t helping give them the things they need? FMEP does what they have to do to make people obey court orders.

    • No Jayne but many of us have lived as the working poor facing ridiculous

    • No Jayne but many of us have lived as the working poor facing ridiculous Orders and conditions and had the programs overstep abuse and abuse power.

      I’ve never met anyone who was not paying because they chose not to. Of the dozens I’ve personal spoken with all have at one time or another been in a situation where work was scarce.

      Then the enforcement action just makes the situation snowball.

    • Oh believe me, many/most of us have some glaring example of how the government(s) have just imposed the FMEP program so that they don’t have to deal with things, and in doing so have completely violated many of the Charter of Rights which can make ones life hell. I have my own story…mine is a little rosier in the end but believe me I spent many a sleepless nite over this crap. The lawyer that was good enough to consult with me and guide me thru doing my own paperwork so as not to run up any further costs at one point said “how fast could you sell everything and leave the country”. Yup, it’s that bad. The more folk we get on board making noise about it the less likely its to go unnoticed.

  23. . Court date June 24, allows mother to continue to abuse ex husband, children and system. All payments to arrears since lay off would have arrears paid in full after the courts reduced income to reflect new annual income, did not happen this way. 19 year old child worked last year, filed his taxes like any of us would is kept on maintenance, 22 year old common law daughter mother of one was put back onto maintenance. So. . . now arrears will exist again and unable to pay off because of ungoing maintenance. During separation, this woman vowed to make husbands life miserable, and with use of these children is very successful. Many days and hundreds of dollars wasted in court when this money can be going to child support. resentments and hatred build as mommy dearest teaches children how to abuse their father, and this is acceptable to fmep, mental abuse can be devastating to lives and everybody turns the other way, and then they wonder why people are dealing with behavioural problems, , what this teaches us?? we have no choice but to take charge and deal with the problem any means possible, done, , bad people turn good people bad, , so unfortunate, but enough is enough. and I am sick of watching a good hard working father who pays support be bullied by his ex wife and has the children so brainwashed that they want this abuse to continue. . . If payor did not pay then it would be different. . . . So now we are forced into the position where we have to remove this bully from our lives, , , and they say Canada is a good country, I just don’t see it. . . .

    • Contact us please Janice. I’d like to learn a bit more about your situation if you’d like to communicate.

    • Not even to mention the mental health of all involved that deteriorates with the constant abuse, developing that sense of drowning and there is nobody willing to take a good look and investigate the situation. This sense of drowning leaves me in such a depression that I am forced into a way of thinking that upsets me, , but the defensive thoughts that I need to fight for my life take me to an unfortunate thought that a hitman would be cheaper and quicker in resolving the issue of the Bully that wont go away. .that’s how bad it is . . truth be told, this is what I learn form our Canadian system, , , ,Step Up Canada and help us. . . .

  24. “Child support is intended to equalize income in both households so each parent can provide a similar quality of life for the children.”
    This is from a site – Edmonton Divorce Mediation. I have not used or know about but I agree with the quote.

    To me meaning that the children feel comfortable with either parent with equal surroundings. As I said above and to FMEP I will soon be homeless. I have a bridge until the 18th of July and then house sit and rent some short term until the fall when some low cost becomes available. I will survive and she will go to Hawaii to work and return home to the business that I helped build.
    And the lawyers get it all. 1 step forward would be to pay lawyers minimum wage for divorce. Do any of them really ever want to end a divorce? Drag it out. Pay them $10.75 and it would take a week. Look at the industry this supports. And me no money having EI picked off to pay her.

  25. Well I am reading all of this and I feel for all of you. I am in a situation where my child has been living in a common law relationship and out of province for over a year and will be 20 in the next few months. Guess what i am still paying support

  26. Hey we would really like to hear your story about how FMEP is monitoring your blog comments. I’m pretty sure we could get the media on the heels of this. Drop is a line one way or another. We could keep you anonymous. Think about it at least. They want to keep us quiet. That won’t solve this problem.

  27. Wow, just found out today that my Ex has signed me up with this program. I have 3 kids with her and have never missed a payment. She is mad that my income has been cut in half since I had to move to follow her and the kids. She has a high paying job and takes the kids on big vacations 3 times a year. I’m basically making minimum wage, pay for my Ex, my new wifes’ Ex husband and my own family. I’m sure
    I will be posting an update in the future :(

  28. Update:
    Received my FMEP notice today. They have calculated that I should pay almost 3 times as much as I have been paying. They said ‘see the attached form to see how we came at this amount’. Well there was no attached form, except saying that I’m in arrears for 3 months for their new projected amount. The pamphlet says they can only enforce what is court ordered, so I’m very confused as to how they came up with an entirely new amount than what is in my court order…..
    I guess luckily I should qualify for legal aid. I foresee a huge uphill battle proving innocence as well as huge waste of time and energy.

    • Dave: push the issue with them. Can can only collect the court ordered monthly amount plus arrears, and it has to be reasonable.

  29. Yes it would be really nice to know how they did their math.

    Do you think you can get legal aid? have you cheeked recently?

    Last time I checked there was no funding from Pro Bono BC or Legal Aid BC for such matters. Tat was about 1 year ago.

  30. Sorry I see auto correct was playing games on me. Sorry for the errors above.

  31. Well I got my Ex’s copy of her taxable income last year and it was more than double mine, so with or without a lawyer I’m going to pursue this. I have read about undue hardship and realize the percentage of winners is very small but I have nothing to hide so I think I have a good case if it comes to that.

  32. I am sorry that some of you are going through some really hard times with FMEP but I am on the other side of the table in which I am about to lose my home as my dumb ass ex and his girlfriend are trying to screw me over. They both make a lot of money and his deferring his income to her as they work in the same industry to not only avoid paying lots of tax but to avoid spousal support to me and child support to another wife. I really hope the FMEP works for me to get the amount from him that he originally promised to me. I agreed to sell the house and he said if I did he would pay me support I DID NOT ASK FOR IT it was his choice. Now not even 2 years into the 5 he has not paid me in 8 months. I have had to cash in RSP’s life policies, cash in holiday time and so on just to keep food on the table for my daughter and a fricken roof over our head. So sorry for those of you that are getting screwed but I hope FMEP does for me what I need them to!!!!

    • Sorry to hear of your misfortunes Mad Ex…unfortunately you have uncovered EXACTLY what FMEP is about. They don’t care about your spousal support, all they are contracted for is child support. No matter which side of the coin it is, someone always gets screwed by them, and it’s usually the one on hard times.

      • Well I don’t know that I agree with you. I only started using them in May and although I have not received any money as of yet they are definitely putting the pressure on and making him squirm. I don’t know if or when I will get money but just knowing I have a lean on his house, car and he can’t travel due to no passport makes me feel a bit better!

      • You’ll find out soon enough.

      • I wonder why her ex stopped paying?

        They can’t do a damn thing to him if he doesn’t sell his house.

        So that’s not much more than a joke really.

        He could just keep his house which is probably the smart thing to do or rent it out and pocket the cash under the table. Which isn’t a bad thing to do as program forces your more and more and more underground.

        Most people I’ve known in the situation pretty much have to go underground because trying to do things above board, fairly and honestly have yielded very negative results and negative consequences

        Yes FMEP has a fabulous thing going. The are helping families, not hurting them. Honest.

        Since I’ve been laid off it’s been pretty tough. It’s funny how people at Walmart or Esso don’t want to hire you when you’ve got 10 years as a professional in a different industry.

        We are on our third square of peanut butter and bread at the moment and that was last two slices of bread. This is in the sob story because I’ve got a few extra bucks kicking around the coin jar. Well be ok. We Nast are scraping by now.

        My daughters pretty good at understanding she really likes peanut butter so all in all it’s not too bad.

        It looks like the school is probably going to put her into their breakfast and lunch program as well as provide her school supplies free of charge. Thank goodness for that. It hurts your pride for a little while until you get used to it and understand it’s really okay.

        Yes now that I’ve lost my license it’s nearly impossible for me to work for myself which I was doing until I found something more stable in my field.

        When they do my background check and they see my credit history so many employers won’t touch me nowadays. Thanks FMEP.

        And I’ve had some offers in the US for short-term contracts which I take but unfortunately I have no way to travel with my passport suspended.

        And hey I’d do some short-term contract work but I have no way to drive to a major center nor do I have any money for damage deposit or accommodation while I’m there. Probably have enough for damage deposit in the bank but FME has frozen not too.

        All the while FMEP gets to charge me extra fees every month I miss a payment and my son doesn’t see so much as a single penny.

        So really it seems to me that we’re all suffering my son my daughter myself my girlfriend.

        But FMEP is really a great program. Honest. Just ask Mad Ex.

  33. I have some clarification on my issue. My income level is half what it was when we wrote up our separation agreement. Our agreement states that each tax year we will review our incomes and adjust the monthly payments. My ex didn’t like the lower payments so she went to FMEP.
    What they do is enforce the original agreement.
    I told them that our agreement states we must adjust the child maintenance each year. They said that unless there is a signed paper by both parties agreeing to the new amount or a court order they will enforce the original agreement. So I’m in arrears now of about $3500 because they are going back to June with the new amount.
    This seems so ludicrous. If I was to triple my income would it be the same? I could just make my ex go through the court system to have the payment level changed in the agreement?
    My question is how long have I got before all the shit hits the fan? Is there a magic money number or timeline?

    • Hey Dave…yes, the Fxxxxxx Monitoring Evil Programs are robots…they will enforce the order. You have to go to court, show your income and have it adjusted. They will then enforce on that amount. Yup…back to court every year…I know it well. Stupid for sure.

      • That’s how the slime ball Law Society wants it. Open ended orders and any changes they hope force you to use their services.

      • It really should be as easy as calling up your bank to skip a payment. Hey I have a problem I’m laid off can I skip a payment? Sure, when can you make it up? Oh next month. Ok thanks. We will note that on your file.

        Yup robots. Most of the FMEP people I’ve dealt with really didn’t seem intelligent enough to be able to use their heads or show and discretion. Even though they do have quite a bit.

        Much like their Director.

  34. I have just read all these comments dads just do not stand a chance here. My son has not been with the mother of his child for over 18 years
    ,yet she badgers him puts him down ,tells lies and somehow gets away with all of this .My son over came a drug addiction, has been clean for 14 years ,is married for 11 years and has three sons. He is kind hard working and a great dad, has made monthly payments for the last 14 years ,helped in every way he can for extras for his daughter took her on the one and only holiday the family has had in 14 years .His daughter turned 20 in June, had been going to school part time,and not in school for the last six months, worked ,and yes dresses like a fashion model, always has the latest mobile drives a brand new car, mean while his wife and family do without oh I might also mention the other party is married and has a son, yet she felt my son and his wife should not have had children,nor should his wife be a stay at home mom which clearly is none of her business, did not let his daughter attend their wedding, a little girl at that time whom was going to be a part of the wedding party. This ex feels she has the right of entitlement, and seems to be passing this on to my granddaughter Where does revenge of this woman end, and fairness begin for my son his wife and sons
    Donna

  35. It is disturbing to read what has been done to some people. FMEP seems to go after the lower income group. My ex-spouse make more than $200k a year and they won’t touch him. The court order isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

  36. I have requested to join the “closed” facebook group, I do not feel safe speaking here on this site. I could really use some help though.

  37. I have read the comments above and I really don’t know what to think about FMEP. I am Mad Ex as above. My problem is my husband and I were quite financially set when we were together. He then decided to have an affair. He promised to keep my daughter and I in our house until she graduated. 3 months after he was out of the house 2 years before my daughter was to graduate he approached me to sell the house. At the time I said no but he then proposed he pay me a set amount a month for 5 years. He went to his lawyer and they worked out the amount and gave me three options. I took the lower monthly option as it was a set amount over the 5 years and would not fluctuate with his income. If he made more I would not get it so why should I get less if he makes less is the way I thought. He was extremely reassuring that he would keep up the payments and encouraged me to by a new home as his monthly support would enable me to purchase a condo for my daughter and I. Not even 10 months into the 5 years he stopped paying me. Oh did I mentioned he purchased a penthouse, an $85,000 boat and a new car?? He then declared bankruptcy. Now I get nothing. I have to sell my home because of the ass. So my question to you people is “Why do people think they should be able to get away with not paying support? I am not just talking about men but women too! You have a commitment to your children and ex be the better person and pay your bills.

    If you run in to financial issues then try to sort it out but to just stop paying is a load of crap. AND…. cowardly.

    • Mad Ex – I don’t believe ANY of us Payors on here believe we should not pay. We are against the mafia tactics and illegal abuses of power given to FMEP in how they go about collecting, ignoring court orders in their best interest and generally just being a dictator group. In my case, my 19 year old son was working, living at home and my ex decided that she would file that he was planning to go to school in 6 months. No registration form, no actual proof that this was true yet FMEP takes this and says “Yup, we’ll keep collecting on it”. Funny, same group runs our Medical system in BC and for a 19 year old to stay on parents medical they MUST provide this proof. Rather ironic, isn’t it?

      • I hear you and I am sure that some people that are up against FMEP should probably not be. For myself I hope to get some sort of resolution. After everything my ex has put me through withholding his passport and attempting to garnish wages is nothing.

  38. this is awesome,the first time Ive been able to actually hear others in the same boat as I. I am a father of six wonderful children that ive been blessed with from 3 very good mothers of which I had long relationships with two.
    Although my support payments were low compared to most,they started to add up over the years,especially through the eighties when work was hard to come by…my youngest is 24 and my eldest is 35.After several weekends in lockup waiting to explain show cause to a judge and a string of garnishees mixed in with my driving rights being continually withheld and not to mention my credit rating being in the tank.Even though my children,s mothers have agreed to forgive the arrears pending on a settlement agreement,,,FMEP wont budge..I am not knowledgeable with what my rights are,,,I welcome any guidance with this matter,please feel free to comment..thanks Ron Email buddsteelbm@gmail.com

  39. As I said before, if you make enough money – FMEP cannot touch you. It’s possible to conceal all income and assets. Apparently, there are some guys that give a Big Middle Finger to the Court Order.

    They might have their passport denied, but who cares? They might have credit reporting, but who cares? They might have Federal Interception, but who cares? They can carry on with impunity.

    • I agree Marjorie. My former went to Russia, found a girlfriend brought her and her family over, keeps a Russian bank account, puts their house in her children’s names, made over 400,000 a year and is 230,000+ in arrears. While my children and I are homeless and have to eat out of a food bank.

  40. I stumbled upon this page while doing research into just what FMEP is as I just received paperwork from FMEP saying that my ex has filed our support order with them. Similar situation as you KD, I have been paying both child/spousal support on time, every month, for the last 4 years, without fail. I have 3 children, the oldest having just turned 19 and living with his mom, dropped out of college 8 months ago.My ex and I have 50-50 joint custody of the other 2 kids. So here is the deal that has me fuming beyond comprehension. For the last 3 months my ex and I have been attending mediation through the Family Justice Centre trying to come to grips with Section 7 expenses (extra curricular activities etc) as well have our child support order changed to reflect my son turning 19, not in school and working full time. The Family Justice Centre mediator had prepared an order to be submitted to the court on our behalf. (Would have saved us the expense). Now this is where things get unbelieveable to me! My ex was not happy about losing support money for our oldest son, so I assume she learns about FMEP through another bitter/twisted divorced woman, and realizes that she can circumvent the whole mediation process by filing the support order with FMEP behind the mediator and my backs while we were trying to draft up a new order with the mediator! I now get surprised with a letter from FMEP stating that my ex has filed our support order with them and that based upon some BULLxxxx questionnaire from FMEP that asked my ex a few questions about my son, that I now MUST continue to pay support for him. She misrepresented herself in the responses she gave to the questionnaire, but even after I called FMEP, and informed them of it, they said that they couldn’t do anything but enforce the current order and that all I could do was to petition the court for a support order review. xxx??? And now my ex has refused to return to mediation, so the support order we had been working for months on with the mediator will never be signed and I now must find the funds to retain a lawyer to fight this or find some website to detail how I can do this myself, as like the rest of you, money does not flow freely from my ass to fight this cow! ( sorry, I started off writing this with the intent of remaining calm, but as I wrote it I became more pissed.)

    • Eventually, after many years, my own (Supreme Court) application to ‘vary spousal support’ led to relief. Step by step assistance to prepare applications is available at the Vcr. courthouse btw. The one thing FMEP ‘will not’ do anymore is provide a lawyer to defend your spouse when you apply to change an Order, although your spouse must be given notice and can also appear in court to contest your application. FMEP views their roll as strictly enforcement, they won’t get involved in disputes or applications to change Orders. So its up to you to correctly apply with all the facts in your case for review. Hope that helps.

    • Join our Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/2374072958/ and contribute to our project. CBC Go Public has just written back one of our members. I would encourage you and all others to write them at gopublic@cbc.ca.

    • th19Ah yes, how I know well that magic letter. Funny how the same criminals run our medical system and when child is turning 19 makes it MANDATORY that you provide this neat thing called PROOF that your child is going to school versus the destined for the fires of hell folks at FMEP. I too felt the same venomous burn after so many years of doing the right thing only to get xxxxxx. However, I can tell you…relief is easy and can be done on your own. (PS – my ex still hasn’t paid her Section 7’s in almost 3 years…but that’s for another day). You can file your own action to have your child declared no longer a child of the marriage by requesting PROOF of registration, deposit paid, course assignment schedule etc etc. When she cannot provide the judge will back date the order to the time of 19th birthday. I’ve represented myself for the last 3 years and am ahead in both orders and $$’s NOT spent on lawyers.

  41. Fmep and my ex have been bullying myself , my wife and my three young boys. 11 , 7 and 3
    My daughter with my ex is now past the age of 20. When my daughter turned 19 fmep sent me a letter they are continuing enforcement of my maintenance for another four years as she is going to continue her education.
    Up until three months ago I paid maintenance , I have never been late by any more than a week.
    I have always paid for my daughter. Fmep came into my life in august of 2002 …. Two weeks prior to my wedding. Since then I have been to court on three different occasions , twice to disclose my financials and one because my ex was going for extra ordinary expenses.
    The last time in 2009 the judge said my financials obligated me by law to pay 448.00. At that time I had been paying 500.00 and I told the judge I have been managing 500.00 for some time now and imagine I could maintain that. So that is what she ordered and I guess neglected to put and end date , which I had no idea I should have asked for as I never knew how much pain and torture these people ( fmep ) would cause to my family.
    At the end of 2012 to April 2013 I had declared bankruptcy and never did I seek out hardship in my payments for my then 19 year old daughter to continue her education. I was discharged from bankruptcy in May 2013 …. In July 2013 I was 12 hrs away from home working to pay for all of my children when during a phone conversation with Taylor ( my daughter ) that she was working full time and was going to be out of school for 4 months. And when she returned it was twice a week and working the rest.
    This just really upset me. I bust my back to do what I believe a father if possible , is obligated to do , then I started to think about what myself and the boys go WITHOUT !!
    I phoned FMEP and told them my story. Not completely understanding what demons these people really were. Mr Rockwell ( or whatever his name really is ) sounded like a kid who wouldn’t understand nor have the capacity in his little brain to aknowledge the fact that I am a dad who is doing all he can for all his children and an ex who is clearly abusing a system to abuse and steal from my family.
    We don’t have any toys. We have one work truck. I am in construction I don’t sleep very well if I’m done a job in a week and haven’t secured another. But for the grace of god I have always found something. I have always done the right thing and always met my obligations.
    I have a contract to sign in my email inbox which would secure employment for me for the next 4 months or more.
    On thanksgiving fmep froze our joint bank account. By the following Wednesday all our money was taken by them. Did I mention I have three young boys and a stay at home mom that rely on me for food shelter and all living necessities to survive.
    I have no way of collecting a paycheck. I have no way of legitimately supporting my young family. All this for a twenty year old who drives works and is going to Mexico in two weeks.
    There is so much more to this story. I am very angry. I am great flu for my wife who has stood by me throughout it all. After all. My ex and fmep are not only abusing me but they are abusing a good Canadian family who are doing their best to raise their kids and live a simple honest life.
    If anyone has any suggestions or ideas for myself and my family ….
    My brain swirls with crazy ideas as I really feel powerless.

    • Barlay; Please see my reply of 10/21/2013 (2:01 p.m.) below.

      • Maybe new2view would consider joining out Facebook group and helping out. Sounds like others could benefit from your experiences.

      • I found it. Thank you much. Leaves me hopeful that with a cost I can hopefully put this behind us and work on a future for my family.
        To think that Fmep would mail my x a single piece of paper with what appeared to be three yes or no questions . Without any form of consulting with me on anything.
        To clear out a joint account with in a day of them talking to my lawyer and leaving myself , my wife and our three young boys without a cent !!!! On thanksgiving weekend to boot , just seems ….. Well …. Uncanadian like ….. Barbaric !
        Thanks again new2view

      • Barclay; the cost is minimal compared to legal representation, only a few hundred bucks. Don’t disregard the possibility of a fair Judgement by the Courts! The only cost is your own serious effort to present facts that the court will accept. My own experience is that (some) Judges will respect and support your application if its based on factual evidence. Once, even in (lower) Provincial Court the Judge ‘admonished’ an FMEP lawyer after I showed they had obtained a tax rebate of mine as a “windfall” for my mate. The Judge Ordered a refund in my favor.

      • This is what I hope and pray for. A judge who will see the honesty in me and what I’ve done as a father.
        And at the same time the deceit in my ex , along with the way my family has been treated by FMEP… I am embarrassed that anyone who doesn’t know me , would look at me as a dead beat …… For the simple fact FMEP is a stigma to who and what I really am.
        Which is for the ones who don’t know me …. A financially supporting and loving father who walks the earth for his children.

    • Sorry my last post wasn’t compleat. Please check out our project website and join our anti maintenance enforcement Facebook group. Also contact CBC go public as they are expressing some interest in these cases.

  42. It costs money to raise a child! Why is it that men think they can have babies then just walk away and leave the mother responsible for everything! Both parents are equally financially responsible for their children. And if you just paid your child support consistently and on time you wouldn’t have to worry about what FMEP has to do because you are too irresponsible!

    • Perhaps you should be more careful in the partners you choose to create babies with.

    • Why is it that women think men have babies and just walk away?? Fathers are devastated without their children, they support them to the best of their ability, however, it seems to be the malicious moms that become more greedy and abusive?? They know the system is on their side when they have control, and in some cases brainwash, their children to cooperate in abusing the father. Resulting in alienation. Why should a father stick around only to get beaten more and more every day?? By not only his ex, but his children as well?? Stories are different and in most cases these fathers are lost without their children. How many women are playing the victim, whine about being harrassed, , Character Disordered when their reality is different from the truth. I would love to hear a mother say, “yes, he lost his job so his monthly maintenance needs to be reduced to reflect annual guideline income. In my experience, child support has been paid up to a month ahead of due date, and the mother has the nerve to cry about it being late. . . Again, scenarios are different, , , bottom line, children should not be abused and used as tools to seek revenge on the father. FMEP recipients dont need to become money hungry witches and make it their lifes mission to use fmep to destroy a man because their relationship did not work out… Grow Up – Move On – Be Happy – And allow the children to do the same.

    • I am a mother of four. I divorced my ex almost 7 years ago and I worked as hard as possible to keep my children as available to their dad as I could. I was taken advantage of, threatened, and my ex lied and hid his income. Yet I have never put him down to my kids and I tell them how hard he works. I filed our agreement with MEP last year because after allowingy ex to lower his payments by 500 per month for over a year, he began buying horses, a new truck and trailer etc, while claiming he couldn’t pay more in child support. During all this, my new husband and I took care of my four kids as well as his 2. My son has a disability that severely limits any chance for me to work. While MEP caused enough trouble for my ex(and his new wife who makes more than him with zero children), I could not understand how MEP could expect him to pay support and pay support of they took his drivers license. But when he starts buying horses and trailers for them, I see dishonesty.
      Now my husbands ex has filed with MEP, although when his girls lived with Us, he never pursued her for support(against my advice) and she took the child tax all while living in another city and province than his girls and she made at least 20,000 more than him. . Now because we have a family to support here, and MEP has garnished his wages and put a lien on our house, we have filed for undue hardship, we are about to lose everything. My four kids and I And my husband will be homeless because the amount he has to pay for 2 kids is more than I recieve for 4. But MEP doesn’t care. They know we have four children here. I do not want to have any part of them because of what they are doing to us, but I need them to force my ex to be responsible. Do not ever assume someone is irresponsible or unwilling to pay for their kids, my husband raised his girls for 6 years with no support from his ex. She is a legal secretary and knows how to use the system. My ex also lives his kids and I believe he has the right to a good life as well as myself And my kids. I am so torn on what to do to protect my kids, myself, my husband and to not hurt my ex and what little civility we have left

  43. Directed to Barclay,
    From what I have just read in your post, I see a clear case of a woman that is just angry!!! Angry at the world and what came of her relationhip and situation with you many moons ago! I see that its a sense of control and when you walked away, from HER , not YOUR DAUGHTER, she lost a little bit of control that she held with you, while your daughter was young and you were within struggles. Within time not only did you move forward and on with your life your daughter was also growing up, WHAM thats 2 people she was loosing control over…hmmm go figure the world keeps spinning the kids keep growing and her resentments towards you kept forth. So FMEP just got another client! someone to control! From what I read you have made mistakes, but also taken responsibility for them and worked hard at maintaining the positive outcomes from ones mistakes. ( also when all was young and mistakes were being made, where was your X in all this? was she by your side and helping you through? was she making mistakes? curious…why she waited so long to attack you??? OH YOU GOT MARRIED!!! RIGHT ;) ) I believe that you are a good, present and caring father to all 4 of your children, not beleiveing for a minute that you have walked away from your daughter, and any oblligations that come with a child. Maybe your X should stop and think for a minute, that what she is contiuning on with is causing more harm to the relationship between a father and daughter that is so incredibly important and irreplaceable. Because Im sure she has maintained mother of the year in your daughters eyes. As for the FMEP, well my opinion is this, yes I do agree that there needs to be a middle man, a program that supports both parties and enforces both parties involved to maintain reasonable requests. For many there is no other choice but to take actions to help receive all the necessities of life, food, clothing and shelter and what only a parent can provide unconditional love. But to take from the mouths of one family that is providing all, to all 4 children, is ridiculous! These cases go unreveiwed, and unmonitored too often, to think that they will just assume the truth from one side with so much as a single sheet questionnaire and expect the payor to oblige is unreasonable. Education is of importance and for any child to continue with post education is a privilege, I don’t personally know many parents that have the option to put one or more of their children through college with out student service assistants loans or scholarships. ( thats just my opinion )and only to assume this is coming at a cost a large cost for you as you prepare for courts! Barclay I wish for you happiness and clarity as you move forward with your family, ( your whole family, all of whom has been affected by this) i wish for you, your relationship with your daughter to be protected, and cherished as she grows, and for those 3 little ones at home with what sounds to be a very patient wife, I wish for them to learn one day that they have a father that loves like no other that will be
    there for them always and know that they are protected! Good luck with this system and life….

  44. And just to be clear after reading many of these posts ,comments and so forth, its really quite natural and doesn’t take a brain surgeon to fill in the blanks as to where suited. Clearly there is always 2 sides to every story and sometimes more, which is why my opinion stands firm that yes they all need support from both parties, but at what cost? and whose to decide?When now other children and families are being jeoprodized? The bottom line here is that FMEP is taking one side over another without further investigation and review when everyone deserves a chance to voice. I will be curious to read, how many of these cases come to an end….in hopes that the most precious relationships can stand the storm….To all of you out there, be strong and hopeful…

  45. you make very wise comments Anne, I pray for the day Barclay gets into court with a fair judge who sees through this most vindictive woman.

  46. KD had this really “useful” advice …

    “Perhaps you should be more careful in the partners you choose to create babies with.”

    Brilliant! I was legally married to my son’s father for 10 years before I had my son. Maybe I should have been married much longer to get the right partner “to create babies with”. Brilliant!

    • No Marjory, time has nothing to do with it. Common sense and intelligence does. I wish I had had more of it when I pro created with my ex wife or at least had someone step in and lay out what they saw in my ex for me. My response was to the statement “why do men think they can have babies and then walk away?”. Horribly narrow statement. Yes, some men (and women) do but to classify all men in that category is shallow and not well thought out.

  47. KD, you might be a loving, caring man and a great father. Stats would suggest that you are in the minority, sadly.

    I wish my ex would have cared one iota about his son, but his new girl-friend was more important. He was asked to pay $100/month for child support and he wouldn’t even pay that. After 10 years of marriage I thought I knew him.

    A person would have to have ESP to see the outcome of family life.

    • Where are you getting your stats from marjory?

      • Understood Marjory, and sorry for the shitty outcome. To say I have respect for your ex would be a lie. Just remember that there are many of us that do DO the right thing and get screwed by a govt and system that encourages this crap. In both your and my case, it can be hard to not be bitter.

        Just remember one thing (and I’ve seen this in my own case)….karma always wins. My ex’s next hubby (the one she had the affair with) screwed her over way worse than I could have ever dreamed or planned….it balances out.

  48. Bring fmep to supreme court not provincial court ! Its a waste of time in lower court , supreme court they need to pay file n fees etc and a lawyet for each case ,that cuts into their budget , they don’t likethat , I have a friend that did that and it worked , 1 hundred thousand in arrears wiped out ! Everyone should do it , stand up for your rights and freedoms ! In provincial court beware of judge bond surrey court ! Very bias and she just became a judge ,

  49. Late in the thread, however, my reply to “The Maintenance Enforcement Project” of where I am getting my stats from would be … I get my stats from the same place as everyone else. From the pathetically insignificant data provided by authorities and from vast personal experience and research.

    Also, KD is is right on. Karma does win in the end. My ex-hubby was raked over the coals by his new wife and died a horrible ignominious death in poverty. That did not give me joy. My son lost his Dad.

  50. My ex wife has beaten me up in court and I got 5000$ behind in payments to FMEP. I had to go to court, as she was making an outragous claim that I was a child abductor. You can watch it all caught on tape on youtube by typing in “ben applegate pa”. So now FMEP put a lien on my home and froze all my bank accounts. I cannot get a bank loan because of it and I am sinking into debt. FMEP says they are going to make my banking life so bad that I will be forced to sell my home and then they will take the bulk of it and put it into a account for my ex wife(even though I owe 5000$). I was suicidal in 2012 with untold stress. I told them that I was suicidal and please work with me. PLEASE! FMEP passively said, go ahead and end it, because we don’t care. They quickly stepped up their action upon my letting them know I was suicidal by going into my account and taking my mortgage money. By the way, my place is only a 100, 000$ apartment that I have to rent out because I cannot afford to live in it. I have no home to bring my children to most weekends anymore as I am sinking deeply into debt. I am not sure what my future holds anymore, but please know my story.

    dad swimming in debt fallout
    • Its been 7 1/2 years since I’ve seen my children. Bc Supreme Court judge agreed approx 5 years ago that it was in fact parental alienation. Didn’t do me any good though. Ex was told (several times) by the judge that custody would be reversed if she interfered “one more time” with access. (The “one more time” threat gets weaker and weaker each time it’s made). Hadn’t seen my children for almost 3 years at this point. She refused to cooperate with the access plan and court ordered counselling. Went back to court hopeful that finally something would be done. Judge gave her one more chance and ordered that I pay for a psychologist to prepare a report detailing whether or not I would ever be able to have a relationship with my children while they lived with their mother. I didn’t have the thousands it was going to cost. End result I ran out of money and couldn’t continue in the courts. No money, no justice. Now I owe a lawyer approx $58,000. He’s got a lien on my house. The FMEP has a lien on my house. Ex won a lump sum award in court and registered it with FMEP. FMEP listed it as “arrears” and had it placed on my credit report. End result, I can’t get a bank loan due to the FMEP note. They demand payment but put me in a position were it was impossible to pay. Then they charge me interest and send me threatening letters on a regular basis. Struggled to pay off the 25k lump sum through monthly instalments as well as keep my child and spousal payments up to date. I was paying approx 60% of my take home pay each month. She’s since moved, I don’t have the address or phone number. I did have an e-mail address to which I sent regular requests asking when I would be able to see my children. Got a call from an RCMP constable telling me I was harassing her through e-mail and I’d better stop. I told him I had a court order granting me visitation etc and asked if he’d enforce it. He said “no you need to go back to court”. The last time I left the court house my ex literally laughed in my face. Why not? She’d won. She’d told me long before that day that I’d never again see the kids and she was right. The system encouraged and allowed her to do it.

      So I’ve now given up on ever seeing or ever having a relationship with my children. I’m financially crippled. The courts are a complete farce, the entire system is all about money. That’s all it really cares about.

      • Dear destroyed….I think you want to do what my lawyer suggested I do if it got real ugly….sell everything and leave the country while you still have a passport. Seriously, he wasn’t kidding.

        Good luck.

      • Brenda without knowing all details of course it would be foolish to offer advise, however, it does sound like there is some room for communications and negotiations with your x, perhaps its possible for you to bury the hatchet and take a fresh approach.? You seem to have the right attitude by not assuming bad motives.

  51. Did we ever get an answer to Mikes statement about they managed to freeze your parent’s bank account. I thought they could only go after the “payor” to the payor’s family or girlfriend?

    Reply

  52. All I see/read are a bunch of deadbeets who are crying over having to support there children…pathetic.

    • well actually there are a number of us that don’t have child support issues, like me for instance. (new2view.wordpress.com)

      • Well Red, perhaps you should take a better read because the vast majority have no issues paying for their kids, rather the corrupt govt process used to do so. Very unintelligent statement from you.

  53. My ex took my daughter overseas to live in UK asking me to sign permission to leave Canada which I did sign. She told me that she wants a brand new life and that she is not expecting me to pay support because of her savings and a big executive job awaiting her in UK. The fact is that for entire 7 years she did not file for any reinforcement for child support. Meanwhile I remarried and have a small child with my wife while my ex stayed single all that time. Then in 2011 suddenly she returned to Canada saying she is broke and she demanded that I pay her for all those years back the child support. The amount calculated by Ontario FMEP was enormous but I negotiated with her agreement that set the arrears to 35K. The agreement went through ISO court in BC and was registered with BC FMEP. I started to pay my arrears immediately and in accordance with agreement paying 5K lump sum and $ 450 monthly – even though I have been paying according to agreement FMEP issued attachment of my property, federal interception, reported me to credit bureaus and threatens me further with suspension of my dl, professional license and wage garnishments. I still owe my ex 25K but I am worry that after they suspend my licenses I will not be able to pay anymore as I will have to lose my employment. Facing those demons from FMEP I did ask my ex to withdraw from FMEP but she does not want to do this. My wife is stay at home mom and my daughter is still small ( 6 years old) and I am very worry what will happen to all of us- is leaving the country the only option? any advice will be greatly appreciated.

  54. Derek, you like myself fell into the worst trap ever….the “I believe my ex won’t do that shit to me”. WRONGO!! For anyone new to this site and threads….ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS get it in writing….never take the word at face value as it can turn on you and then look whatcha got.

  55. If you were the one who broke things off, you might want to cut these last few ties with your ex.
    Here are some simple tips to help you recapture the love of your former flame.
    This will be hard for you to do, but if the other person doesn’t
    know how you feel then how will they have any motivation to get back with you.

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